Chapter 1 Resurrections

Johan sensed light around him, like waking from a deep sleep to morning sunshine. Opening his eyes, he remained motionless. Slowly he began to feel his body. He touched his legs with open palms. He turned his head from side to side. Looking around he found himself in a living room very similar to the one he knew in his childhood. It was light and airy with large windows overlooking a landscape of rolling hills, many covered in trees. The sofa was so comfortable, it felt like he was floating.

To his right were folded clothes. They were soft to touch. Dry, soft clothes were a distant memory. He felt like a child getting into cosy pyjamas as he put them on.

Footsteps, and a door to his left opened. A face peered around the door.

“Johan,” said the face, olive skinned with thick dark wavey hair and a short beard. His name was not spoken with a questioning tone. It was like an old friend greeting him with affection.

Johan smiled back, but evidently seemed confused. The friendly face continued a warm smile, “Come with me… It’s all ok.”

Johan followed the man through a short entrance hall into a kitchen.

This side of the house was aglow with a welcoming fire like hue. Sitting at a wooden table was a person that shimmered like a rainbow. Soft colours refracted the light in the room. The being had an appearance clear enough to see, yet hard to define features.

The dark-haired man pulled out a chair from under the table and signalled Johan to take a seat.

“This is Ruach,” said the man.

The being’s eyes seemed to take in the totality of Johan, inside and out. Far from feeling self-conscious, Johan felt seen, welcome, and understood. The dark haired man put a steaming mug on the table in front of Johan.

“Black coffee, no sugar.”

Johan looked at the mug and then back at the man.

“That’s how I have it,” he said, bewildered.

“You’re probably wondering where you are?”

Johan took a sip of the coffee. It was hot but didn’t burn his mouth. He looked at the man and nodded.

“My name is Jesus.”

Johan nearly spat out the coffee he was savouring. Jesus and Ruach giggled, and Johan also laughed as he composed himself.

“This is our home, and you are our guest,” Jesus continued.

“Wh… why am I here?” stuttered Johan.

“Your time in the Previous Age has ended. In other words, you died.”

Johan cradled the mug in both his hands.

“I thought so,” he said quietly.

“It was very quick, you had no time to realise,” Ruach reassured him.

“How did I die?” asked Johan.

“A shell hit your billet. It killed you and four of your friends as you slept,” replied Ruach calmly.

“Wow. I had no idea. So, wait, is this … is this it? Am I in heaven?”

“Sort of,” said Jesus. “Don’t worry, all will become clear.”

“This is our time to look at your existence so far. Your experiences during the Previous Age, what you have learned and where we go from here,” added Ruach.

Johan took a deeper breath. “I see,” he said. “So, if I died with four of my friends, why aren’t they here too?”

“Everyone gets their own time with us,” answered Jesus. “Every mortal life was its own unique journey and is to be understood individually.”

“So, this is an appraisal of my life? Isn’t that called Judgement Day?”

“Some have called it that. We think that sounds a little severe,” said Jesus.

“But isn’t judgement supposed to be severe?”

“Sometimes it can appear so,” replied Ruach. “However, this is more like a discussion. Everything we do is because we love every person with unfailing Agape Love.”

“If you love everyone, does everyone just go to heaven?”

Jesus pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. “What do you mean by heaven?”

“A place where good people go to be with God after they die,” replied Johan.

“That would not be our definition, it’s all heaven,” he said. “By this I mean, everywhere anyone can possibly go is under our guidance.”

“What about Hell?” asked Johan nervously.

“Well, we don’t have any lakes of fire, if that is what you are worried about,” said Jesus.

“Which brings us to you, Johan” added Ruach.

“Me?” whispered Johan. He bowed his head. “I know what I am. I am a soldier of war.”

“No,” Jesus said firmly. “That is not what defines you. You could not help where and when you were born. What matters is your heart.”

Ruach nodded, “The circumstance you found yourself in was ugly, but your heart is beautiful. I saw you giving the last of your water to captive soldiers. I saw you hold your dying captain until he was gone, even though he belittled you every day.”

Johan began to well up.

“But, but didn’t you see all the times I failed? I couldn’t save my Captain, and I know our army did horrific things. I did things I am ashamed of.”

“I saw,” said Ruach tenderly. “But I know your heart hated that which was evil.”

“But I swore an oath to The Fuhrer?” said Johan.

“You will get a chance to make new commitments.” Jesus was now holding Johan’s shaking arm in his hand.

“How can I live a better life? What must I learn to do?” asked Johan.

“We have a place for you. You will get to explore our Agape love without any of the constraints of the Previous Age. How would you like to help care for some of our children?”

“Children?” said Johan, quizzically. “There are children here?”

“Yes, children that die in the Previous Age still get to grow up. They are placed with relatives of theirs that are raised into this Age.”

“My sister!” gasped Johan.

Jesus and Ruach beamed as they watched Johan realise that he was about to be reunited with his little sister Gertrude, who had died when she was seven years old.

*

Yuri opened his eyes and immediately jumped up. As soon as he had cast his eyes over the room, there was a knock at the door to his left. Yuri spun around, fists balled.

“Christ!” he yelled with surprise, alarmed that he might be joined by a stranger.

“That’s right,” chuckled Jesus.

“Huh?” replied Yuri, confused and coiled like a spring.

“Why don’t you put your clothes on?” offered Jesus from behind the door.

Yuri didn’t say anything, but his fists relaxed a little. To Yuri’s right was a rail with some familiar looking clothes hanging on it.

Grabbing the door handle, Yuri pulled it open to see Jesus leaning up against the wall just outside it.

“Do you like your clothes?” he asked.

Yuri stayed silent, feeling awkward. His eyes looked Jesus up and down and he wondered what he wanted.

“Come through?” beckoned Jesus with an open arm, pointing across a hall to the kitchen.

“Where’s the boss?” said Yuri curtly. “I want to see your boss.”

“I don’t have a boss,” Jesus answered gently. “You can meet my friend though, she’ll be along shortly.”

“What do you want with me?” Yuri felt increasingly aware of how little he knew. If there was one thing Yuri hated, it was not being in control.

“Come on through,” repeated Jesus.

“You first,” demanded Yuri.

Jesus nodded and held the door.

Tentatively, Yuri stepped into the kitchen. His eyes furtively searched the room for anything he could use as a weapon, but there were no knives – not even a rolling pin.

Jesus gestured toward a seat that was pulled out from the wooden kitchen table. It was the kind of table Yuri had spent hours at, hunched over a deck of cards, chain smoking Marlboro Reds and knocking back vodka.

“I’ll stand,” insisted Yuri. “Where is this friend of yours?”

“She’ll be along in a minute,” said Jesus, hardly able to contain an excited smile.

Jesus turned around and poured out a short drink. He slid the glass along the work top towards Yuri.

“Here.”

Yuri looked at the glass and, not wanting to give away any sign of weakness, slung the shot back and slammed the glass down on the work top.

His eyes lit up and he stood up straight.

Jesus smiled. “We want you to feel welcome here.”

The door at the back of the kitchen burst open and a strange looking being bustled in with a large German Shepherd.

Yuri gasped, “Gulag? It… it… can’t be!”

The dog broke fast across the room and began to smother Yuri who had dropped to his knees.

“Gulag! You’re alive!” Yuri laughed, shocked yet delighted.

Jesus and Ruach looked on.

“This is always one of my favourite parts of raising people into this age,” mused Jesus.

“Me too,” replied Ruach. “Re-creating the exact animal that people loved is so much fun. When I create a new body for the spirit of the animal to inhabit, they awake to full consciousness and start to search for the humans that loved them.”

Yuri looked up at Jesus and Ruach, still running his hands over Gulag.

“Ok. You have my attention. What do you want?”

“The only thing we would like is for you to sit with us and talk for a while,” answered Jesus.

Yuri stood and fell into the chair as Gulag sat faithfully at his feet, watching his every move with devotion.

“Just let us fill you in,” said Jesus, sitting down at the table.

Ruach cut some bread and then joined them at the table with offerings of butter and jam.

“Tuck in if you’re hungry.”

Yuri was hungry but defiantly ignored the bread.

“Go on,” he summoned.

Jesus began.

“This is Ruach.”

Yuri suddenly became aware of the shimmering colours coming from her form.

“We are here because we love you. We’ve been with you your whole life, and we are going to be discussing what you did and what was done to you. You have passed from the Previous Age, and we are responsible for you.”

“Everything we say and do is for your ultimate good,” added Ruach.

Yuri’s face darkened.

“Wait. I’m dead? But I’m alive? But… I’m also dead?”

“You have passed over from the Previous Age, where you were conceived, born and began your journey as a human being. Your Previous Age body died of sudden heart failure after being attacked. You had a life full of horrific violence. Violence against you, and violence by your hand. However, the essence of who you are, your spirit, is greater than your body and the things you did. We are here to help you understand this.” Jesus paused to allow this to sink in.

Yuri’s eyes were locked on Jesus. He was listening but struggling to take in the fact that he was no longer living his life as he knew it.

“Everybody, including you, was made for loving relationships and deep connections with those around them. For reasons that we shall explore, you have not experienced this. We have ways to help you discover this wonderful way of living, but you’ll have to learn to trust us.”

“Trust you? I don’t even know who you are?” Yuri yelled indignantly.

“You see Gulag?” asked Ruach.

Yuri looked at his dog and his face softened at the sight of his adoring eyes staring back at him.

“We are the ones who give life. We are the ones with the creative means to restore all things and to encourage reconciliation. All things that were born, lived and shared in our great gift of consciousness, these things are being made new and encouraged to mature.”

“You sound like you are playing God.”

Jesus laughed. “That’s an interesting phrase.” he answered.

“So, are you God?” snapped Yuri.

“Depends on what you mean by ‘God’?” Jesus enjoyed provoking more questions.

Yuri was stumped for a second.

“Isn’t God Almighty? Am I not meant to be damned? I mean, I never believed in God anyway, but if this afterlife bullshit is actually real, shouldn’t I be thrown into flames or something?”

Ruach drew Yuri’s attention.

“We aren’t into torture. We are more interested in encouraging your journey into pure, unfailing love: Agape Love. That’s what all of this is about.”

“The only thing I ever loved was this dog!” retorted Yuri.

“And that’s why we start with him,” responded Ruach with a warm smile.

“If you’re not ready to talk with us, you can wait with Gulag for as long as you need. Just head back into the living room.”

Yuri hesitated. He was caught between two options, both of which left him feeling powerless and weakened. He was not used to this.

“No, I’ll stay,” he said abruptly.

“Great!” replied Jesus.

Yuri fixed his eyes on Jesus.

“How would you describe your life?” asked Jesus.

Yuri considered his response for a few seconds.

“I learned from boyhood that the only way to survive was to be the top dog. If you gave me life, then why are you blaming me for trying to live it? You don’t know. You live here in this perfect little home! You don’t know what it’s like to be born into poverty, to be abused.”

For the first time, Yuri saw Jesus’ face turn more serious.

“Actually, I do. But this isn’t about me. We aren’t here to condemn you.”

“So, if I’m guilty? Then give me what I deserve? If you’re really God, then you can smite me, or torment me, or snuff me out! Yes, I had a shit life. Well done! Well done God for giving me a shit life.” Yuri sarcastically clapped his hands in mock applause.

Jesus looked Yuri firmly in the eye.

“Yuri, I know you…”

“Fuck off,” spat Yuri. “I’m done with this shit. Get me out of here.”

Jesus nodded.

“Ok. Out of that door if you want to leave,” Jesus pointed to the back door.

Yuri got up with Gulag following him.

“Fuck this,” he cursed as he opened the door and left the room.

Jesus sighed, “If only it was possible to quickly convince people that we want the best for them and that they will eventually be able to enjoy a wonderful life. Free from all that causes them to abuse others and themselves.”

“In time Yuri will discover how to live an abundant life. It will be such a joy to see him reconciled to those he has hurt,” replied Rauch.

*

Fran noticed the sound of her own breathing and opened her eyes. Looking around she found herself on a very comfortable sofa in a living room that felt somewhat familiar. Fran was immediately excited, but at once also embarrassed to find she was naked. Looking down at her body she was thrilled to see it was youthful again. With a great sense of relief, she saw a wardrobe with open doors across the room, it was full of clothes that looked like hers. She hurried over and got herself dressed.

Fran didn’t have to know everything to guess that she wasn’t in Hell and was therefore probably about to meet God. She rubbed her hands together, and as she did so, she noticed all her liver spots were gone and that her whole body was zinging with life. She was impressed with how real everything felt.

Fran tried to remember her final memories. She remembered being surrounded by her children and her grandchildren in the hospital bed. She remembered that she had skin cancer. She remembered the beeps of the machines keeping her sedated. She remembered the foreign nurses with their accents she didn’t like. However, she was pleased that she didn’t remember the actual moment of death.

Fran began to look around the room. It was simply furnished and illuminated with what she presumed was sunlight. Fran felt that maybe God’s living room could be a little more impressive and wondered why she was on her own.

She noticed a door next to the sofa and couldn’t help but open the door. There was a moderate entrance hall and another door with a frosted glass panel. Whatever was behind that door glowed with a warm orange light.

Fran crossed the hall and strained to hear any noises that might give her a clue as to what was behind it.

Without warning the door opened and a man with wavey black hair, olive skin and short beard stood facing her. He smiled.

“Fran,” said the man with a welcoming tone.

“Yes. Hello,” said Fran. “Who are you?”

“I’m Jesus,” replied the man.

Fran couldn’t hide a perturbed looked on her face. “You’re Jesus Christ? The Son of God? The Lord?”

“Some might say,” Jesus seemed slightly amused.

“But you’re so… you’re so…”

Jesus stood smiling, waiting for Fran to finish.

“Am I not what you had in mind?” he eventually chuckled as Fran continued to search for the right words.

“Well, no, it’s… I don’t…” she stuttered.

“Come on in,” invited Jesus, holding out an arm to keep the door open. Fran couldn’t help but notice a huge ugly scar on Jesus’ wrist as she passed him and entered the kitchen.

“Francesca Pauline Allington!” said a being, sat at the table, radiating an attractive glow.

“This is Ruach,” explained Jesus.

“Who?” said Fran, who then recoiled at her own bluntness.

“You may have known me as ‘The Holy Ghost’,” said Ruach.

“Ok, so I have The Son and The Holy Ghost,” stated Fran. “Where is the Father?”

“Papa leaves this bit to us,” replied Jesus.

“This bit?” questioned Fran.

“Yes, it’s your… let’s call it… appraisal. We’re going to talk through your life in the Previous Age.”

“Previous Age? Oh, Ok. Now I’m here, I’m in Heaven though, right? This is the ‘age to come’?”

“It’s one of them,” replied Ruach.

“Here,” said Jesus as he put a cream soda float infront of Fran.

She was delighted; “Oh wow! I haven’t had one of these since I was a child!”

Fran regained her composure but didn’t touch the drink. She looked at Jesus.

“So, I’m very happy to be here in Heaven. I always knew I would be coming here. Is it true I get a mansion?”

Jesus looked back at Fran with a soft look of concern.

“Slow down a bit Fran,” he said, with an unsettling seriousness.

“We have to talk about some things first.”

“Why?” Fran said obstinately. “I believed in you and went to church every Sunday! I have always been a Christian! Don’t I get straight in?”

Jesus took a seat next to Fran at the kitchen table.

“Fran. Firstly, you must understand that we love you. We desire that you come to fully choose Agape Love. This is our desire for everyone.”

“Whatever do you mean? I loved my friends and my family as best I could! This is not what I expected from you, Jesus!” she said crossly. “You said there would be no condemnation for those in… well… you?”

“What do you think that means?” asked Jesus, still with kindness in his eyes that irritated Fran.

“So, am I going to Heaven or not?” she demanded.

“Fran, you are now on the New Earth, it can feel like Heaven, or Hell. Your attitude and desires will determine how you perceive things. You are the only one who can determine your openness to Agape Love,” Ruach said.

“That is not what I was told,” said Fran, arms folded in a child-like sulk. “All that going to church for this?”

*

Adilah stirred, stretched out her arms above her head and yawned. A rush of endorphins made her feel good for a few seconds. Expecting it to wear off and to be replaced with the usual aches in her body, Adilah was surprised to feel a teeming joyful buzz pulsating through her. She opened her eyes to find herself in a room with log walls. Golden light streamed through the windows, and she could smell something cooking nearby. She sat up, finding herself on a sofa.

Adilah didn’t really mind where she was, because for the first time in her existence, she felt safe. Maybe she had been given a new life as a rich person, she wondered. She reached up and touched her face. The injury that had marred her appearance had gone. Delighted, she reached up to her hair. Adilah laughed out loud as she felt where the wounds had robbed her of her hair. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked around for a mirror. She saw some beautiful dresses hanging on a rail. Realising her nakedness, she was pleased to get dressed. The clothes were exquisite. She felt like an important lady in fine linens.

A knock at the door to her left.

“Hello?” she called softly, nervous to meet anyone in this mysterious place.

“Hello Adilah,” called back a voice. “May I come in?”

“Yes,” answered Adilah politely, presuming this place belonged to the voice.

The door opened with a slight creak, a man stood in the door smiling, he was holding a mirror. Somehow, despite all she’d been through at the hands of men, she sensed this man was not a threat to her.

The man laughed in return, to see her so happy.

“Here,” he offered her the mirror.

Adilah took it in her hands and shrieked out loud, clasping a hand to her mouth. Looking back at her was her reflection. She was clearly still Adilah, a young woman from West Africa, but her facial scars had completely gone.

“Uncle, I do not understand?” she gasped.

“Adilah, my darling one, your time of healing has come. You are safe here.”

“Where am I?”

“You are a guest in my house. Come, meet my friend.”

Adilah didn’t need to be convinced. She came to the man and held his open hand. He led her across a short hall into a kitchen room.

Adilah let out a squeal of excitement.

“Friend! Is that you?”

Ruach beamed back at Adilah. She came across the room and the walls were ablaze with colours as Ruach took Adilah in her arms. She wrapped her in a hug that felt like being bathed in warm, sweet, thick liquid honey.

In the embrace, Adilah felt her consciousness expand past her body, and the room, and begin to fill the surroundings of the house. In every direction, she felt a euphoric freedom emanate from her inner being. She felt at one with Ruach.

Ruach began to gently loosen the cosmic hug and Adilah’s consciousness retracted back to her body.

“Friend. I knew one day I would see you.” Adilah’s tears flowed freely.

Jesus stirred Adilah’s favourite drink, deeply moved by the encounter.

“Friend was always with me, somehow, within me. Even when I hurt the most. Even as I was dying. Friend never left me, though I couldn’t see her but I know her voice, I know her presence.”

Ruach gently ran her hand down Adilah’s cheek.

Adilah looked at Jesus.

“I beg your pardon, Uncle, but I don’t know your name?”

“You can call me Jesus,” said he, passing Adilah a glass of mixed fruit juices.

“Jesus. Ok, I will remember, Uncle. Thank you.” Adilah did a little curtsey as she accepted the drink.

“What has happened to me?” she asked, getting straight into it.

“You died and we raised you,” replied Jesus.

“This is amazing! How can you do this for me?”

“We have life to give. We do this for every single person. Everyone is special, a one off, and everyone is loved,” added Ruach.

Adilah suddenly became anxious.

“Every person? The militia? Are they here too?” she asked.

“You are safe now,” answered Jesus.

“Where am I?” asked Adilah, innocently.

“You are on the New Earth. We are in the next Age now. This is a time of deep healing for all. But Adilah, you know the ways of Agape Love quite well already.”

“Agape Love?” said Adilah.

“Yes, my darling one, the highest form of love,” replied Ruach. “And we have prepared a place for you.”

“I do not deserve this!” whispered Adilah.

Rauch leaned slightly closer to her.

“You were always worthy of our blessings. The suffering you experienced in the Previous Age, and the way your heart was so open, you have prepared yourself for what is to come.”